Tuesday's Top Ten: Ways to make someone feel UNWELCOME at church

There has been much written about how to make guests feel welcome at church, but I thought it would be both fun AND thought provoking this week to look at the top ten ways to make someone feel UNWELCOME and UNWANTED. Here’s a few things that you may have seen:

10. Making guests stand up and tell us their name- there is nothing more fearful than calling attention to yourself in front of a group of rank strangers.

9. Publicly encouraging guests to come on down and sit on the front row. It gives you that “I’m in trouble with the teacher” vibe.

8. Telling someone they are sitting in YOUR seat; OR not addressing them personally, but saying that they took YOUR seat to someone else within earshot of the said guest. After all, you PAY YOUR TITHES and your great Uncle Leroy paid for that pew. (His name is even on a little brass plate to prove it.)

7. Reserved parking for the pastor, staff, etc. just outside the front door, without any reserved parking for guests. Because there aren’t enough people that already feel like church leaders are high and mighty.

6. Announcements full of inside jokes and references that guests won’t get. (It’s just like missing the first half hour of a movie and spending the rest of the time trying to understand what’s happening.)

5. Insistence on the wearing of visitor name tags- because branding irons are a little too uncomfortable.

4. No one greets, smiles or acknowledges the guests. We wouldn’t want them to think we are glad they are there would we?

3. Airing disagreements or personality conflicts loudly and publicly. Nothing makes someone feel at home like a good old fashioned church fight.

2. Call attention to what they are wearing (positively or negatively). Every church has a culture that is the norm- for some it’s ties, for others it’s tattoos. If your guest is out of the loop, by all means, point it out.

1. Make sure you let them know you don’t like change and that you want the church to stay small. They will get the hint and stay away.

Obviously, we wouldn’t want to make someone feel unwelcome… or would we? Sometimes I wonder, because I have seen every one of these take place. It’s time to think about the message we are sending guests- because you only get one chance to make a FIRST impression.