Tuesday's Top Ten Church Attendees

As we come together as a body, we have a lot of different kind of church “attendees”. Among them are some that help...some, not so much. 

We Get-

10. Church Shoppers- These are the folks looking for the best deals for them; sometimes they are looking for a place to serve, but often, they are looking for a place to be served. Everybody falls into this category at one time or another; the important part is your motivation.

9. Church Hoppers- These are the folks that can’t stay still (Religious ADD) and often can’t get along with themselves, much less others. (Note- if everybody is wrong but you, it’s time to get a mirror and find the problem.) These are also the easiest sheep to "steal", as some churches entice members away from their current place of worship to join their fellowship. Problem is, given time, you may want to give them back. 

8. Church Stoppers- Stopping the flow of ministry and life- “It’s my way or no way.” Nothing like a strong dose of self-interest to cut the hot water off to a cold drip. 

7. Church Whoppers- They have to be seen AND heard. They may know that Jesus is the Head, but they want to be the HAT. Often, these come from families that may have started or may "run" the local church. The pride and attitude that exudes from them can be poison.  

6. Church Droppers- They say, “I can be just as good a Christian at home as in church.” I say they are lying AND they are sinning, because this scripture clearly commands us to SHOW UP and HELP EACH OTHER. If you are cut OFF, you are spiritually dying.

 

5. Church Coppers- These are the legalistic enforcers that want to make sure the men wear long pants and a tie and the women wear a skirt, just like the apostle Paul and all the sisters in the New Testament. (No neckties in the New Testament? Really?) I once heard of one of these sweet saints that would offer to bring her clippers and give a visitor a haircut if it was touching his collar- how's that for seeker friendly?!? They are more about style than substance, still clinging to the idea that your works or appearance will save you. 

 

4. Church Poppers- These are the contrarians that love to "pop" every church's bubble by hanging in till the bitter end, and I do mean bitter. They are determined to get their way and watch the church die in the process. I've seen some of these folks that were so much trouble, it made me suspect they were "double agents" working for the enemy. 

Fortunately, though, we also get these folks:  

3. Church Moppers – Humble servants that aren’t afraid to pick up a mop, a broom or a Sunday School Teacher’s manual. 

2. Church Proppers- Folks that lift up the leaders, the sick, the weak, the discouraged with prayer AND action. 

1. Church Toppers- Brothers and sisters that are willing to stand on the rooftop if need be, not to be seen, but to proclaim the Good News of Jesus Christ. We need all of those we can get!