Tuesdays Top Ten- Potluck Dishes to Avoid

Church potlucks are always dangerous territory. Dishes abound that are not for the faint of heart. There are concoctions that would scare the pink off a truckload of Pepto Bismol. We are talking about something you are going to PAY FOR in the morning…if you make it till morning. For those reasons, we have comprised a list of the top ten potluck dishes to avoid.

10- Bro. Ed’s Hot Chili - made with enough peppers to stock Bobby Flay’s chain of Tex-Mex restaurants for a year. (Is that a hole in the wall of that crock pot?)

9- Sister Pearl’s Cream of Something Mustgo Casserole – When everything in the fridge “mustgo”. Cream of mushroom soup covers a multitude of sins…and leftovers.

8- Anything made with Spam and cheese.

7- Anything made with tuna and cheese.

6- Anything made with Spam AND tuna AND cheese. (Can you possibly imagine?)

5- Mayonnaise Egg Salad Surprise – It’s been at room temperature for 8 hours and you have food poisoning. Surprise!

4- Foods packed in a recycled oleo margarine tub. (Make sure I get that bowl back!)

3- Mable’s Marble Meatloaf- the color, texture, flavor and moisture content of real marble.

2- Aunt Sadie’s Pound Cake- dense as a brick; no amount of whipped cream or strawberry juice will penetrate its interior. Guaranteed to maintain that consistency all the way through your digestive track.

1-Cora’s Coconut Cake- Brought by the church cat lady, whose white Persian likes to sit on the counter and watch her bake.

Personally I suggest the no-name, half chocolate, half vanilla sandwich cookies straight from the plastic bag, a few stale chips, a couple of brown and serve dinner rolls and a styrofoam cup of weak sweet tea. Enjoy!