Tuesdays Top Ten Worries about what might happen when we have Guests

We were blessed to have a couple of families attend with us for the first time this Sunday. As a result, I was somewhat nervous about the way the service would flow, but it seemed to go fairly well. But it made me think; what are the worries we have when we invite someone to church and they actually show up? Thus, this Tuesday’s Top Ten worries about what might happen when we have guests:

10. A toddler escapes in mid-diaper change and runs naked and screaming into the service. (Don’t laugh- it’s happened.)

9. Special singing will be “really special” due to the interpretive dance routine semi-prepared by the Flower Children of the Lord.

8. This will be the Sunday that we have to take up three special offerings for various needs, until the last plate is full of IOU’s, old business cards and crumpled receipts.

7. The pastor has to “lay down the law” with a church correction message that makes your loving flock sound like a group of unruly prison parolees.

6. The pastor has a sermon prepared with a sketch put on by a group of reluctant teens that mumble their way through the message that’s, well, sketchy.

5. The pastor uses a video that doesn’t work for an awkwardly LONG time, then tries to recover, just as they get it working.

4. The sound system squeals, groans and picks up transmissions from Smokey and the Bandit out on I-65 North.

3. The Grim Weeper, the Storyteller and the Rambler all have to “share” a word or a few hundred words with the congregation.

2. This is the day the missionary from Uganda is doing the slide show.

1. Bro. Elmer and Sister Hattie point out that the guests are sitting in “their” seat.

Don’t be surprised if this spurs the Top Ten Apologies….